Thursday Bonus Post: Planned Spontaneity

Spontaneity is great. It’s like a gift you weren’t expecting yet wanted all along. In many ways, it’s the Holy Grail of spanking scenes, especially for many bottoms, but very rarely does this level of spontaneity come about without some pre-planning. At the very least, the people involved in a scene that’s spontaneous have to be somewhat familiar with each other or, at the very least, the Top has to be aware of what the bottom wants and the bottom has to be willing to submit to this particular Top.

Does having to ask or convey what you want take away from the spontaneity of the scene or is this simply something you accept as necessary because of the nature of what’s going on? If I want to do a disciplinary scene with someone, I have to damn well be sure that is what they want. I’m not just going to grab someone out of the crowd, start scolding and then spank them for some specific or amorphous reason. What if that’s not what they like? What if they like it but don’t feel like it right at that moment? What if they like it but I’m not the one they want disciplining them? An impromptu scene might be fun but not without some knowledge on my part.

I suppose the whole idea of the spontaneous scene falls under the category of fantasy that is mostly impossible to put into practice.

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6 Responses to “Thursday Bonus Post: Planned Spontaneity”

  1. Planned spontaneity is actually a great way to describe a scene. So I’ve played with Spanker X at a number of parties and we have great fun. I know he is safe. I know he can push my buttons. Perhaps at a time unintended, Spanker X comes and mentions something to me or I to him. Then off we go. Not exactly planned. Not exactly spontaneous.

    It goes back to my stupid roller coaster analogy. You are tucked in pretty safe with those harness. Maybe to mix things up you ride blindfolded.

    It’s familiar and new all at the same time.

  2. Rad,

    Some of my favorite spankings are those where Randy has carefully choreographed the action, but it’s purely spontaneous when it’s happening for me. I think most women love a man with a plan, especially when it feels like an exciting surprise at the time.

    So I guess it’s somewhat a matter of perspective.

  3. radagast Says:

    Laura and Bonnie: What you said. I suppose it comes down to laying down the basic ground rules and then whatever happens within those guidelines just happens.

  4. Yay for spontaneity! I agree completely with both Laura and Bonnie. Ultimately, I think it’s a matter of trust and knowing someone.

    As a bottom, my favorite spankings is when my Top takes me by surprise and controls scene completely. I have have no idea what’s going to happen – and I just roll with it.

    So to answer your question: Does having to ask or convey what you want take away from the spontaneity of the scene? My answer would be yes. But, sometimes, it’s necessary until you get to know the person well enough.

  5. I completely agree with D. Having to ask just ruins the headspace for me. However, that is different than commuicating my needs and desires prior to play. I think it’s great to have all those wonderful get to know you conversations. It’s my favorite part of the process. That being said, once that’s out of the way, if I give permission to a Top to haul me off, spontaneously, if a situation arises, it means that I fully trust him and connect with him. And as far as real discipline goes – that spontaneity feels the most authentic. I don’t give that permission lightly.

    And just for the record, I also love being told where and when to meet a top for discipline. As long as he initiates. It’s part of the fantasy. To be caught, dealt with, and truly made to pay for a wrong doing.

    God bottoms are a lot of work!

  6. radagast Says:

    Bottoms may be a lot of work but the payoff in the end is often worth it for Tops.

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