Aluminum Siding and Other Faux Pas

Sometimes, just sometimes, there needs to be a period at the end of a long sentence.

Now that I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with going to spanking parties and feel less nervous about meeting people (and asking them to play), there is still one thing that I dread more than any other. Frankly, it’s the person you meet  who goes from not as interesting as you thought to really boring in short order. You try to be friendly but that friendliness is taken advantage of by a person who has an agenda or has nothing else to talk about except the mundane (and I mean “mundane”).

For example, I was at a party once where a person I had only met online introduced themselves to me. Hand shakes all the way around. Unfortunately, I asked this person, “How’s it going?” They then proceeded to complain about their party experience – why was this not happening, why did that person say A and then do B, why won’t someone let me sit at their table, etcetera. Look…I just asked to be nice. If a person is having a crappy time, I don’t really want to hear about it unless something truly bad happened to them – then I’ll be sympathetic. I hate whining and whiners especially when I’m trying to eat.

I also don’t need to hear a detailed story about how a person fixed their plumbing or had the side of their house encased in metal. If they must tell the story, then do it by saying, “Had my plumbing done last week – cost a fortune but at least that’s finished”. See? Done. Took less than ten seconds and I pretty much get the gist of what’s being talked about and can fill in the blanks myself. I really, really don’t need a twenty minute detailed explanation of forklifts, garden hoses, plasma TVs or shoes. I don’t…period. Also, if a person has issues with their pancreas, I don’t want to know about them for the same reason I mentioned above – I’m eating.

The other type of conversationalist that can make me want to bolt for the nearest door is the person who seemed OK at first but increasingly reveals themselves as wacked out. I don’t mind a little eccentricity – as a matter of fact, I like it. What I chafe against is when a nice little conversation turns into an attempt to convince me of something I don’t believe in. A real way to lose my heart is to start talking new agey rubbish or 9/11 theories. Maybe I should wear a lapel pin that says, “I Don’t Believe Anything”.


15 Responses to “Aluminum Siding and Other Faux Pas”

  1. There are a few people that would then decide to take that as a challenge Rad.

    Then the talkers who don’t even give you an opportunity to escape. They keep going. They don’t even seem to have to take a breath. It’s painful. My brain starts to shut down. Not sure if my priority is escaping or maiming. And who to maim? Oh look, that sharp shiny object would go right in the larynx ever so nicely. Probably wouldn’t even slow them down.

  2. radagast Says:

    Laura: I understand but I can’t say that I have the desire to kill these folks – I just want them to be somewhat reasonable about dominating my time with useless one-sided conversations. If they need to get stuff off their chest that bad they should start a blog entitled “I Tightened The Screws On My Chair”.

  3. I was kind of having what I would call a “low” morning but this post had me literally laughing out loud almost spitting out my coffee. I totally understand what you are saying. And for many reasons and you can “hush” Laura…people seem to think they can come up to me at any time and relay any story…in great detail to me…and honestly at times I just want to scream…or walk away!…You put it perfectly, Rad.

  4. bella: Glad you liked it and were able to hold your coffee.

  5. Glad you brought this up. I just posted three pages (without paragraph breaks, woohoo!) on my blog about the aluminum siding I had installed this summer and was hoping to get your comments about it. While I’m thinking about it, perhaps you have an opinion on my pet theory about how the Methodists masterminded 9/11 as part of their secret quest to upstage the Baptists down the street?

  6. My head hurts already.

  7. TVisiting Says:

    Maybe they’re just uncomfortable. I could see that situation happening.

    How about putting up a help sheet with guidelines and suggestions on what to talk about. Think about all the clubs that have rules about speaking, whether it be a committee meeting or speed dating.

  8. radagast Says:

    I don’t tell people what to talk about, I just know what works for me.

  9. It certainly is an issue in every social and work circle. Especially on a Monday when you haven’t had your twelfth mug of coffee yet.

    “What I Did over the Weekend”

    You remember my neighbor who had the pool that my Aunt Josie fell in that one time and then we had to fish her out and she was so mad that she never came back for dinner ever again, but that’s ok because we didn’t want her to, not that we wanted anything bad to happen to her or anything, so this weekend the other neighbor around the corner who doesn’t have a pool and can’t swim said he was looking forward to fall so the leaves would collect in the gutters and he could rent a power washer and did I think that was a good idea?

  10. radagast Says:

    Addendum: People who can’t be direct and people who never get to the point.

  11. I promise not to talk much when I go to SL this year. Just kidding. Maybe. 9/11 theory conspiracies piss me the hell off too. Ignore the weirdos…..that’s what I do.

  12. Barb: I often ignore the weirdos – it’s when the weirdos zero in on me that I get the shakes.

  13. Lol Rad. A coworker and I were just recently venting about folks who don’t understand the difference between “How ya doing?” from a stranger vs. from a friend. I also seem to have some strange mojo that plants those people right next to me whenever I get on a plane.

  14. radagast Says:

    Shiny: I’ve been trying to curb my responses to people in recent years. For the longest time, I was not very diplomatic. Unless it’s an extreme case when a person just won’t get the hint, I’ll often give them a token listen (even if it bores me) and look for a polite way to extricate myself from the verbal onslaught.

  15. You crack me up!

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