Shameless Self-Promotion

If you don’t then who will?

Although I could talk about this blog or my subtle and not so subtle ways of promoting it, I want to talk about the niche that people carve for themselves in the scene especially when the edges rub against each other.

There seems to be a certain unwritten rule that certain folks hold onto that concerns how people behave when it comes to, in effect, advertising themselves. It’s usually the quieter ones who complain about the forceful ones because they find it difficult to compete with them. When I say “forceful”, I’m not referring to those folks who single-mindedly barrel ahead towards their goal shoving everyone else out of the way. People like that are rude and are seen as rude. I’m talking about those individuals who know they are not going to get the most out of the scene without a little “sweat equity”.

A person who is proactive about self-promotion makes sure that people know what he or she likes. They describe what their particular flavor of kink is, not leaving room for useless and frustrating guessing games. They announce that they will be at this party or that place and invite people to play or to join them. They may not be specifically targeting any one person but just letting it be known that they are open for play if someone is interested. These folks make sure that they stay in people’s heads by frequenting message boards, chat rooms and, yes, writing blogs that they hope are interesting to read.

Here’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about: If not for the boldness of my wife Sandy, I might not have been in the right place at the right time to get to know her a lot better. If nothing else, this “boldness” reflected a real desire on her part to play and to meet people. She didn’t leave it up to chance (well, maybe a little) because she knew that gaming the system with a little personal nudge was better than just standing around waiting for lightning to strike.

I like calling it “shameless” self-promotion because it requires a person to discard feelings of embarrassment that stop them from just going ahead with it. The reality is that you owe more to yourself than some would want you to realize. Give a thought to becoming your own personal advertising agency. You don’t have to be obnoxious about it but a little self-promotion, in moderation, goes a long way.

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8 Responses to “Shameless Self-Promotion”

  1. I think Joel and I both self promoted a bit. We put ourselves in each other’s paths, spoke much by either IM or phone. Worked out swell.

  2. radagast Says:

    Laura: It’s got to be done. Success in social settings doesn’t just spontaneously happen. I wish more people realized this.

  3. That’s if you want to be social.

  4. radagast Says:

    Brian: If a person doesn’t want to be social then that’s easily done by not being social.

  5. I don’t think I promote myself enough or express my needs enough. For instance, I don’t always tell my husband that I might need a spanking just because.

    Brian, how do you get to play with anyone if you don’t want to be social? Or are you already in a relationship?

  6. Sandy, I’ve been married for 21 years. I’ve never ‘played’ in a group setting and I don’t think I could as it’s not something that really pushes my buttons. I would prefer one on one with someone I know and care about. My wife isn’t interested in spanking but we’ve tried to have a Ds relationship but it hasn’t worked. I mainly write about spanking in stories and poetry including stories starring friends. The funny thing is, when I first started blogging, nearly every woman who read my blog turned out to be a spanko and I wasn’t writing about spanking at all.

    So here’s a self-promotion and a link to my poetry blog where I store my works. This page is Erotic Poetry and Spanking Stories. http://hummingbunny2.wordpress.com/2006/10/27/erotic-poetry/

    There is also a separate page with Paddles at Dawn, A Spanking Western. That was written for a close friend with her in the starring role.

  7. I think a lot of people are not raised and taught to see and understand the difference between normal self-promotion and “rude.” I know I wasn’t: the idea of “tooting your own horn” was definitely filed under “bad stuff” in my brain and it took me a while to realize if I don’t toot it, no one else will do it for me.

  8. radagast Says:

    Shiny: There are a lot of things people are taught that make no sense, IMHO. People have to realize that they get one shot at a life and even if they have not done something until now – if not now, when?

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