A Tough Question For A Sunday Morning

You better have that extra cup of coffee before you read on.

Let’s say you’re in an evenly numbered group of people at some gathering and everyone else seems to be pairing off for spanking activities and you and one other person are left. You have little desire to play with this person. What do you do? Do you say, “What the hell”, and play anyway? Or do you just stand there awkwardly hoping that they don’t ask?

Let’s say you’re a couple getting together with another couple. Three of the four are into playing, one of the four is not. Now what? Do you subtly pressure that one person to go along to get along or do you leave them alone because they just don’t feel like it?

These are situations ready-made to offer up hurt feelings. Is it more important to be true to yourself or to not hurt anyone’s feelings (especially in a relatively small community of people)?


8 Responses to “A Tough Question For A Sunday Morning”

  1. In your first scenario, I would say “What the hell” and play with them anyway, who knows maybe I will be surprised and enjoy it anyway. If I was certain they really wanted to play. Unless of course I really loathed this person, then I would stand there awkwardly and pray they didn’t ask. Considering there is no one that I really loathe in this scene, I think I’m safe.

    The second scenario, I would know they didn’t want to play and I would suggest getting a coke and sitting down for conversation. I love talking with people and getting to know them. As long as we didn’t talk about George Bush, we’d get along fine.

  2. radagast Says:

    Lynn: It’s tough because a lot of us are so keyed in to trying not to hurt feelings or burn bridges. However, there will always be those moments when a potential partner does nothing for you or when you just don’t feel like playing and would just rather hang out.

  3. Lynn,

    Even without knowing if you are pro- or anti- George Bush – I loved your post!

    I also agree with your “what the hell”, take my chances, and maybe be happily surprised.

    Nice post!

  4. In the past I’ve found myself in these scenarios where “everyone is playing with everyone else” and you suddenly realize you’re supposed to jump into the mix and play with everyone, too. It’s awkward. You don’t even KNOW some of the people, and don’t even know if you want to play with them.

    I’ve reacted in both ways. Declined as gently as possible, OR gone against my true desires and played anyway “just to go along.” It’s been pretty rare that I’ve played with an unknown who was so awful that I had to say “red” to get him to stop what he was doing. Usually it’s simply a matter of being bored, and you put up with it for as long as you need to. Is it necessary? No, and I still kind of resent that subtle or not-so-subtle peer pressure. On the other hand, sometimes with no outside pressure at all I’ve played “just to be nice.”

    I don’t think I’ve been in too many scenarios where I’ve had to pressure someone else to play. At least I don’t think so.

  5. It is such a fine line, or maybe that is just a cop out on my part. I would have to say that I would more likely say…oh what the hell…and be bored or something near that. It is afterwards that I would feel more upset with myself then anything…like I had done something that I really didn’t wan to. I can really start becoming twisted inside my head.

    Sometimes I wish I could just relax and just play…and enjoy. But that doesn’t always happen.

  6. Thanks Susan, I appreciate your comment. Sandy’s right, it’s hard to resist peer pressure. When this happens, you sure can’t be your best. I’ve only had one instance that I felt like a total fool for not being able to Top the way I know I could. But hey.. it was a learning experience and I certainly did learn from it. Next time I’ll know not to try something unless I’m really ready for it.

  7. Would have to play it by ear. Most likely in the first scenario I’d go ahead and play unless I, for some reason, couldn’t stand the person – in which case I’d just have to “come down with a headache” or something.
    The second? I wouldn’t want to press someone who didn’t want to play – medical science is letting us live longer and longer so I figure I’ll get another chance.

  8. radagast Says:

    Medical science IS working its magic. However, that will present a whole other set of issues.

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