Varying Intensity

Even I realize that I’m a hard spanker.

I’ve been lucky recently that I’ve had some regular play partners that can take a hard spanking. Especially when I’m taking someone OTK for a pretty traditional disciplinary hand spanking, I go hard if at all possible. The feeling I get when I’m punishing someone like that is like no other. I know they can feel each slap but so can I and after a while, my hand is really stinging. There have been occasions when I did too many similar scenes in one day and it really beat up my hand (“poor baby”).

It’s sometimes difficult for me to lower the intensity of how I’m delivering a spanking. Not that I can’t do it, just that I sometimes don’t feel the “realness” of what’s going on. If I’m playing lightly, the experience gives me the impression that I’m merely touching someone’s ass rather than spanking them. I’m fond of asses just fine but fondling one is not the reason I’m engaged in this activity of ours. To play lightly, I really would need to get into some heavy mental space to get the most I can out of it for my own enjoyment.

That’s not to say that every scene has to be the hardest thing ever. If I’m dominating someone, that’s a lot more psychological than it is physical. But spanking is not the same thing as domination (at least in my mind) because to me it’s tied up so much in the dynamic of discipline. And if I’m disciplining someone, I want them to feel it and for me to feel the moment.


5 Responses to “Varying Intensity”

  1. I agree with a lot of what you are saying, Rad. For me if the spanking is too light, I feel for sure it isn’t discipline, but I find myself wondering what is it then? And I know when I have talked to other bottoms, what I consider a light spanking and what others consider a light spanking is very different. And on the other hand I have learned that if I am playing with someone for the first time or someone I don’t know, I don’t tell them that I like to play hard, because then they see it as a challenge. It all can get very confusing.

  2. radagast Says:

    I don’t see spanking as a competition to see how hard I can go (unless I AM being challenged). For me it’s just what I enjoy and derive the most enjoyment from spanking hard.

  3. For me – too light is just an exercise in being nice – I’ll lay there and try to insert an appropiate “ow” once in a while – but it does nothing for me.

    At TesFest – I played with a guy named Victor (not real, I’m sure), who spanked REALLY HARD!…but it was the way he spanked and the verbiage while he spanked – I really didn’t feel like it was over the top.

    On Sunday, I played with a guy I met in a class – and after 4 swats, I was in tears – I had to safeword him way too many times – I had bruises for a week – and this was after I stopped him at least three times to tell him to “lighten up”…we played for a half hour – and after time number 3 of safewording him, I told him I had to leave.

    I can play hard – I really can. But I can’t start out with someone I don’t know slamming into me. I played with Victor for over an hour – and it was hard – I had bruises on Saturday night – but it was fun and I didn’t mind the bruises.

    Joe was a different story – I would never play with him again – but then, it’s my fault for playing with him in the first place.

  4. Oh Susan, learning those lessons the hard way bites. I’m sorry to hear you had that experience. Next time you’ll know to jump up and say thanks and walk away, saving your bottom for partners you enjoy.

    I play at varying intensities, and it depends on how my mind and body are set that day, or that hour, or how they adjust depending on who I’m playing with (because anticipation and expectations are involved). I expect a warm up but how the spanking goes depends on many variables.

    I played twice with a gentleman relatively new to our local group and to SL. The first time I’d played quite a bit that evening, so we role-played (he is into doing discipline for reasons) and he was able to go pretty hard. It was a great experience. The next time it was the first play of the evening. I did have a bit of secret concern regarding how he would start, remembering how hard he’d gone. Well, it turns out he can do a warm up that seems like he’s getting into the discipline, then as the dialogue ratchets up, so does the spanking intensity. I was really impressed–it was like he’d done this a lot and was not a beginner at all. Maybe for some people there is some talent involved after all. I like, no, love doing role-play, so getting into character with someone else who can do that (he’s an actor) also makes a harder spanking more “bearable.”

  5. Dolly,

    Thank you so much for your post. I was really feeling stupid for playing with the guy…but stuff happens, and we get past it.

    It’s great that you had such a good experience – I love hearing good things about “our people”.

    See you in August!

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