A Little Sunday Morning Frivolity

What the hell is wrong with some people?

You might meet them at the grocery store or in Mr. Slapinski’s Sweet Shoppe but you are more likely to see them online. They are the people who ask the same thing all the time and can’t seem to accept anything but their preordained answer as acceptable (nor can they accept “I don’t know” either).

By example and in its most ridiculous form, I’ll illustrate with this:

I always come across people online who ask some form of the question, “In the TV show/movie/book/comic book/video game/cartoon/cereal box cover [fill in the blank], do you think that [some character] ever spanked [some other character]?”

OK, it’s a cute and funny little question ripe for light conversation. Or you’d think. This person is not going to be satisfied with your light answer because he considers it a serious topic. “Yeah, that’s fine”, he’ll say. “But do you think that George ever spanked Weezie/Batman ever spanked Catwoman (or Robin)/Bert ever spanked Ernie/Abbott ever spanked Costello/Captain Crunch ever spanked that godforsaken Super Sugar Crisp bear?” Over and over, ad nauseum until you just say, “Yes, I think it did happen”. But it’s not over. It becomes, “OK, how did Batman spank Catwoman? Did he take her back to the Batcave or just do it while thwarting a caper? Did Robin watch? Did they all daisy-chain spank each other?”

How focused does a person have to be on some strange fantasy that it’s all they can talk about? And I’m not even mentioning the people that go on message boards or in chat rooms and say stuff like, “I like to be whipped until half-dead in front of a building with a noontime lunch crowd watching. Then you bang my bloody and motionless form with a strap-on for an hour. Email me”.

I would have no problem with that fantasy if it wasn’t for the fact that they post things like that on a quilting message board. Inappropriate.

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8 Responses to “A Little Sunday Morning Frivolity”

  1. Joel and I, like some other spanking couple we know, have wonderfully snarky moments together. Many go like this.

    We are watcing TV or listening to Music. We hear a reference remotely related to spanking. One of us will say “Let’s post that to the SL bulletin board when we get home”

    Some stuff gets kind of redundant. Ok, I know that McClintock is one of the gold standard mainstream spanking movies. I think one of us has a copy because it is almost obligatory. Spankos own McClilntock and Secretary. But I digress.

    It reminds me of one of the scenes in Mallrats where one of the characters asks Stan Lee if Lois Lane could carry Superman’s baby and goes into questions of other situations for Superman and his supermember.

  2. radagast Says:

    Don’t know if you’ve read the essay, “Man of Steel, Woman of Tissue” by Larry Niven – it goes into all the reasons why Clark and Lois could not have children.

  3. *giggling*…I dont even want to think of all of the odd online conversations I have had. But I should have warned you about those quilting chatrooms!!!

  4. radagast Says:

    bella: Who knew those quilting chats got so racy?

  5. Rad, I had no idea you were a Larry Niven reader! I read that essay, it added a dose of physics/reality to an imaginary situation in a fun way.

    Slightly related: I just finished the last book by the late Arthur C. Clarke, a collaboration with Stephen Baxter, and the last in a series that was published earlier this year. It was a disquieting feeling, closing the book, knowing that I’d never be hearing from Mr. Clarke again. I’ve been a fan since I saw 2001: A Space Odyssey at age nine, that’s forty years ago now.

  6. radagast Says:

    I was turned on to Niven back in high school and have read a chunk of books by him (including one too many of the Ringworld sequels…the ones that seem to have been written once the braineater took his talent). What I’ve always liked about Niven is the sensawunda that I get from his stories and the neat gadgets and contraptions. Gotta love those.

    It’s a shame about Clarke – he had a good run. Childhood’s End, 2001, Rendezvous with Rama and The Fountains of Paradise are particular favorites. The “Rama” sequels, written mostly by Gentry Lee, are to be avoided at all costs. Sometimes sequels are not needed.

  7. I think I had far too many expectations for Ringworld, came up against “tanj” and realize that reading books as a writer has altered my perspective. Because that book just didn’t do it for me. Orson Scott Card both recommends Niven yet warns against making up swear words that just don’t work, referencing Niven again. My brain hurts.

    You have to watch out for those spanking chatrooms that devolve into sf discussions!

  8. radagast Says:

    I’ve not been censoring the comments on this blog and I aim not to. Wherever a discussion goes, it goes, and anyone can bring it back on-topic if they so choose.

    I don’t like made up swear words in SF or Fantasy – TANJ is just stupid (as is TANSTAFL…but more forgivable because it’s Heinlein) and I’ve always hated thinks like “frak”. Ugh. As I’ve gotten older and more well read (and more politically astute), certain books and certain writers have gotten way to quaint for me – Niven is one of them.

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