The Last One Picked

I really admit to having a soft spot in my heart for the kid that’s picked last for the team or who is not invited to a birthday party because no one thinks of him. Parts of the scene remind me of this.

Like a lot of people, I grew up being the kid that was not asked to participate. Eventually, I would literally force myself on people and groups like an unstoppable door-to-door salesman whose product was me. I did make friends but probably turned others off as well – so be it.

Even at a young age, the idea of exclusivity rubbed me the wrong way. Sometimes in scene life I see this sort of thing and it brings up bad memories. We all want to be included and to not miss out on the fun but unfortunately it just is not possible one-hundred percent of the time. There will always be people invited to participate in this or that to the exclusion of others. If you’re having an event with a particular number of participants, Tops or bottoms, there has to be a finite number put on the participants otherwise you end up with an unworkable mess.

What I don’t like is that the excluded people might perceive it as an insult, affront or example of cliquish behavior when it was none of those things. Sure, you can tell people to, if effect, “suck it up” but that doesn’t solve the issue. Rather than adding further insult, there should really be an attempt to make people (especially newcomers) understand that sometimes a table for eight can’t fit fourteen. Who knows? Maybe more people should consider putting on mini-gatherings to mitigate this.


2 Responses to “The Last One Picked”

  1. Excellent written post, Rad. I see this in the scene and find myself trying to explain it to people, but well, it is hard to explain and feelings are feelings. It really brought up for me was the students at school. I watch this and I have to say that when the girls…actually begin to understand and include another girl who has been an outsider for whatever reason…It is a VERY GOOD day in my world. I would much rather witness that a million times then one of them learning something. Because as you have pointed out…it is a life lesson.

  2. radagast Says:

    bella: Thanks for that thoughtful comment. It’s always good when kids learn to have empathy for their fellow humans. It’s learning the subtleties of adult life that are difficult for some to master.

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