Same Sex Play Partners

Do you like the idea of playing with someone the same sex as you? Does it bother you? Do you even care?

You are probably more likely to see women playing with other women in the spanking community than you are seeing men doing the same. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a man spank another man at any gathering I’ve been to. For a group of people that revel in their sexual freedom it seems kind of odd that you wouldn’t see this more often.

The fear of rumors and snickering comments are probably the reasons you don’t see men play publicly at parties. I have no doubt that they are playing because it stands to reason that if you have enough people gathered in one place for a particular purpose, you’ll find pretty much any combination of play partners. They must be doing it in private to avoid any stigma that might be attached to them. People are more accepting of gay people but you still hear the gay themed comments used as jokes or put-downs on a pretty regular basis – especially when men are gathered together. In this regard, women can get away with a lot more because it’s always been more acceptable and because women don’t define their femininity the way men seem to define their masculinity – by connecting it with the opposite sex.

To answer my own question: Would I spank another man? It wouldn’t bother me but it would depend on the person. If it was some cute guy and we were role playing Teacher/student or Dad/son then I could definitely get into that. I could probably go pretty hard with a guy, too – that might be interesting as well.

In the end, I’m too comfortable with my masculinity to care what other people might think about something that is pretty much my own business.

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22 Responses to “Same Sex Play Partners”

  1. I’ve always defined spanking as a male/female. Since coming out into “our” world, I realize that it’s a very narrow view. I’ve been spanked 3 times by a female – and while it didn’t knock my socks off, it wasn’t horrible either. I think I’m just so into the romance novel/spanking story idea of a man spanking a woman, that it just doesn’t occur to me to think to play with women. At Tesfest…I really considered it, but opportunity didn’t present itself, so it went undone.
    I’m seriously thinking of attending at least one day of the floating world’s 3 day extravaganza – 146 classes on ANYTHING (well, almost anything) you can imagine.
    Good for you, Rad, to consider spanking another man. I know many a top who would say “Ugh – no way!” I think it speaks volumes that you are so secure in your masculinity that it wouldn’t bother you one way or another.

  2. radagast Says:

    I don’t know about it speak volumes but it certainly would not bother me (especially if the guy was cute).

  3. Sorry – I stand by my comment – I know many men who would say – No Way! So that you would consider it says a lot to me.

  4. radagast Says:

    All right. I accept.

  5. Considering that I started out F/F spanking it never seemed odd in the least to me. I felt very comfortable in that role and I that is still my favorite but I have had the experience of spanking a guy and I loved it too. For me, it’s not really about the sex of the person, it’s how well I know them and how close I feel to them.

  6. radagast Says:

    I have not had experience spanking another man so I can’t say what that would be like. I just know that the thought does not bother me.

  7. Indiana Says:

    I’d like to see more guys feel free to explore the different dynamic of playing with men as well as women. Sure, not all guys would be into it, just as not all women like to play with other women, but there does seem to be almost a taboo against M/M play in the (mostly) straight spanking community. I wonder if women would like M/M spanking porn as much as a lot of guys like F/F? Probably only if it were shot for a female audience in mind, whatever that means.

  8. While I am not a prude, I just don’t want to play with another woman. Not sure why, but it just does not appeal. If the idea doesn’t appeal to me, I don’t feel compelled to try it out. I’m almost positive that it involves the mental/emotional component rather than physical, but I can’t quite figure out what that is. If that changes, I’m sure I know a couple of people I can approach. I just don’t see that happening tho.

    And yeah, Rad, you get big props for even considering M/M.

  9. radagast Says:

    Indy: I’m not big on taboos or anything that people shy away from for no apparent reason.

    Laura: It really does boil down to what the type of play an individual is comfortable with. As for the “props” – like I told Susan, I accept (reluctantly).

  10. I really wish more guys WOULD do this openly, because I’d love to see one guy beating on another guy. I can’t say why that turns me on. I got a glimpse of a M/m scene at one party and it did excite me.

  11. radagast Says:

    sandy: Why does anything turn us on? Doing it openly is probably beyond some people because of the perceived stigma. I say that one fringe benefit is to find out which people are truly open and accepting and which ones are hostile to things they don’t personally like.

  12. I’ve pretty much always had both M/F and F/F spanking fantasies. They’ve been pretty different in my adult life, though. The F/F ones tend to be disciplinary in a maternal sort of way, though the top can be strict or a reluctant disciplinarian. The M/F ones have a lot more variety, from rather vague but sensual images of lying comfortably over some nice man’s lap, enjoying a good girl spanking, to master-slave fantasies (he’s usually a reasonably enlightened master in some otherworldly context). For some reason, I am never punished unfairly in F/F fantasies, but fairness seems to matter a great deal less in M/F fantasies. Maybe because the M/F fantasies are often overtly sexual, where the F/F fantasies aren’t? Who knows?

    In RL, I am happy to play with men or women, though I’ve never considered topping a woman and I might find that difficult. Funny how these things work, isn’t it?

  13. radagast Says:

    Indy: Although my spanko fantasies lean towards the disciplinary, like most people they run the gamut depending on the person or the configuration of participants. I say it a lot but the reality is that there is no right or wrong way of doing it – just your way.

  14. I’d like to ask the question everyone is thinking: what is Rad’s definition of a “cute guy?”

    I came into this not caring about gender, so I’ve spanked both genders and been spanked by both genders (no, I’m not going past M or F for definitions, as I’ve not been in the situation to be spanked by a transgendered individual).

    Each person and scene is different. Being spanked by Jon is different than being spanked by another man or another woman because our dynamics and chemistry result in a unique variety of scenes. I don’t spank everyone the same way. I’d say the chemistry and emotions and feelings and the type of excitement depends more on the personality of my partner and how we interact than on the gender of said partner.

    To be fair regarding my initial question, I think the fact that Jon keeps saying how he wants arms like Rafa Nadal’s let’s you know what HE thinks is good looking LOL! I would not mind, given how he uses his arms *wink*

  15. radagast Says:

    My definition of “cute guy”? It varies but I know it when I see it.

  16. I’d think I would certainly enjoy seeing the M/M spanking scenes. Yep, I’ll admit it.. it’s definitely a turn on for me!

  17. Hello? that scene in Brokeback Mountain, anyone?

  18. I really enjoy playing with other women…Dolly breing one of them and at some point I would love playing with Sandy. I think that our society…and I think it is even more interesting in our fetish community that there are judgements put on same sex anything….I mean come on…we all have learned that sexuality is a on a continuum! But yes, female to female play is much more accepted. I know many women will do it, just because they know men enjoy watching it so much! So then it becomes doing it for the man…which I think is different. There is just something different about a woman’s touch what can I say.

    As for guy on guy…I think you are right Rad…there is a great prejudice out there. What is fascinating to me is that when I am with gay men…and well I am with them quite often…they speak about spanking very casually….but I think heterosexual men think about it but don’t go there very easily at all for many reasons.

  19. radagast Says:

    bella: Is it my misreading of attitudes or is there a fear among some men that they might even give the hint that they are gay or bisexual? Has society beaten down people so much that they are afraid that something they do maybe, might possibly imply that they are anything but 100% heterosexual males? Overly macho images in our society?

    I think it’s interesting how the late Heath Ledger’s look in Brokeback Mountain was seemingly a pointed nod at the Marlboro Man – one of the quintessential macho images in American society.

  20. Rad…I think you hit the nail on the head. We look constantly at images of how the media affects how women think of themselves, as we should. But we don’t look at how the media affects how men are affected by the media. I think men are afraid to be thought of as gay or even bisexual…or even a little left from the Marlboro Men. Even the whole metrosexual thing was short lived…men began to feel insecure in their sexuality. It is really too bad…because sexuality is really so much more fluid then we make it out to be.

  21. radagast Says:

    I think being sexually liberated boils down to doing what you feel is right for you and not caring what other people think.

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