Not A Moment Too Soon

There are times when I wish I’d gotten involved in the spanking community sooner in my life – all those wasted years and that sort of thing. However, the reality is that my “coming out” came at the perfect moment.

Right before I decided to explore my spanko nature, I was going through what could be best described as a midlife crisis. I was unhappy with everything including the vanilla relationship I was involved in. Nothing felt “right” to me and I found I was sinking deeper and deeper into a dull existence of never ending sameness. I was eating too much and withdrawing into my own head.

I can’t say that things happen for a reason but sometimes they happen fortuitously. When my breakup came, it happened at the exact moment that allowed me an opportunity to reassess my life and make the changes I needed to make. I quickly went on a major diet and started a mental makeover which helped me to realize some things about what makes me tick. One of those things was my desire for spanking, not just as fantasy but as an actual part of my life. That was when I decided that if nothing else, I was going to pursue what I wanted and never look back again. It was the best decision I ever made.

I reached out from inside my shell and discovered that people in the spanko community were responding in a favorable way to me. They seemed to like me and that went a long way to help me build my confidence. I met my future wife, the sexy and beautiful Sandy, and played for the first time in my life – it was like a firecracker went off in my head. I had been keeping a small Moleskin journal and when I came back from that first play date I simply wrote the word “Wow” with an exclamation mark and circled it. I still have that page from that notebook as a memento.

After so many years languishing under a vanilla veneer, I finally felt like I was beginning to be an authentic person and I felt reborn. I have had my ups and downs since then but the fact is that I am miles away from the unhappy person I was back then. I can’t say it’s all because of my entry into the spanko community but I will always have a place in my heart for it and the people I’ve come to know because you all literally helped save my life. That’s something that is difficult to repay but I’ll try.


11 Responses to “Not A Moment Too Soon”

  1. The older I get, the more strongly I believe in the timing of big events in our lives. Coming out earlier for me wouldn’t have be disastrous or anything, it would have just complicated things even more.

    I’m glad you and Sandy are together. You do truly compliment each other and are so very fun to be around and watch. That Tony Elka sure does good sometimes.

  2. radagast Says:

    That wacky Tony – always sticking things where they do belong. What?

  3. Yes, I agree, the acceptance that we give one another in this lifestyle is so refreshing. It makes me a better person all the way around. I know some of the friendships I’ve made in this community have changed my life for the better. As I get older I learn to know myself better and better. What I learn isn’t always a good myself but it’s simply me. Rad, I’m happy that you’ve come so far but I hope you really know how many people you’ve helped along the way too!

  4. radagast Says:

    Lynn: Thank you. I try to be as accepting as I can be.

  5. For all the internal bitching I do to myself about WHY I didn’t come out earlier, I know that there is a time and a place for everything, and I know that 34 months ago was the right time for me to take my place in the spanking world. Any sooner, and I would have worried about my kids finding out…any later, and I would be that much older. My time was the right time for me, and even though I think about what it would have been like when I was younger, I know the timing was right.
    I love your blog, Rad. So many thinks to think about!

  6. radagast Says:

    Thanks, Susan. The blog is only words, it’s the people who read it and comment that make it better.

  7. Indiana Says:

    I’m still in that rather heady just-out phase, feeling the excitement of meeting others who understand and the relief that comes from finally knowing what it was that wasn’t working for me. It’s rather liberating, sort of like I’ve just been released from a convent. I hope I’ll look back after the newness fades a bit and feel the same sense of community that you describe, Rad. I’m pretty sure I will, as I can feel it forming already.

    I have to disagree about a blog just being words, though. The writer’s personality really shapes the discussion. Sure, you need readers and commenters to take the conversation further, but it’s the blogger sets the tone. And when a blogger is willing to share at more than a superficial level and to make his or her readers think, then it’s only a matter of time until interesting conversations follow.

  8. radagast Says:

    Indy: Thanks for the compliments.

    As for the sense of community you’re beginning to feel, I think it has a lot to do with a a group of people that are willing to accept newcomers paired with your own willingness to reach out to them. Going into the scene like a lone wolf is never a good approach if you want to feel a part of something.

  9. I’ve expressed this to Rad — I felt exactly the same way when I met him. Maybe I didn’t write the word, “Wow” in a journal, but I was certainly feeling something akin to that. He was cute, funny, intelligent, nice, NOT A FREAK… oh, god, I had met so many freaks along the way.

    I’ve usually had fun, over the years, going to Paddles, going to parties (I had gone to a few Shadow Lane parties by myself before I met Rad). I’ve always felt welcomed and accepted, well-liked. I got my needs met. I had a lot of friends. I also spent many nights wishing I had someone to go home with/to.

    I love having Rad as my partner in crime. We are snarky and obnoxious and insufferable at times. We have way too many inside jokes. But I think we try to be friendly and reach out to other people. I like being part of the community with him. It’s helped ME in so many ways, too.

  10. Wow!

  11. But seriously, I’ve had the “wish we’d started earlier, like BEFORE kids” but maybe it is just as well. I’d hate to resent my beautiful children for cutting into my adult playtime LOL! Since we’ve had them ever since we started playing, having to work it out with them in mind has been the norm.

    But we did have 9 years of no kids and all the time and space in the world to play – well, we did other stuff, and get to have it all now. Just in moderation, when the time is right and the moon is full and the babysitter is available 😉

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