Can You Watch Your S.O. Play?

It depends on the circumstance and it has little to do with jealousy.

Sandy likes to play with different people, often new people, all the time. I like to do the same. For the most part, I don’t really have an overarching desire to watch her play but on occasion it’s interesting to see her spank someone or watch her get spanked.

The main reason I don’t like to watch is that I feel that my mere presence, even if it is a good distance away, will only hinder the scene especially if someone who is topping her knows that “hubby” is watching. I look at it as an intrusion into someone else’s headspace and I really don’t want to do that. I mostly want Sandy to feel free to enjoy what’s happening without any added pressure on the participants to perform or to hold back. I’m not jealous because some guy is topping her – I had that burned out of me early on. If my relationship with Sandy is so tenuous that her playing with some guy will cause her to leave me then that was a pretty screwed up relationship to begin with.

I also have a thing about being watched although I feel I’m getting somewhat better about that fact. It’s just a matter of concentrating on the person I’m playing with and not the fact that their S.O. is observing us – trying to focus on what I would do even if no audience was there.

The only exception I have to watching Sandy get topped is when she is being topped by another woman. I’m a sucker for F/F spanking (and lesbian porn but that’s another subject) and it always makes for a good time to watch a strong woman take Sandy across her lap for a good hard spanking.


9 Responses to “Can You Watch Your S.O. Play?”

  1. Joel likes to watch me play, especially if I am on the receiving end of a harder spanking/session. He likes to watch my reactions and I think gets a kick out of me enjoying myself and maybe the dynamic between the top and me. I don’t need him to be there. I don’t think I would play with someone if I felt I needed Joel’s presence for safety or security.

    As for me watching Joel play well, it depends with whom he is playing. And that is more for the interplay between them than the spanking (not mentioning anynames… FBG). Sometimes I feel that being there changing the energy/dynamic or whatever and that isn’t fair to either Joel or the bottom, so I’ll just hand him a hairbrush and leave the room (with enormous gratitude from the bottom).

    Porn intrigues me. Especially the fake boobs and women who are naked except for stilettos.

  2. radagast Says:

    But is the reverse true as well. Do you, Laura, feel the dynamic in the room changes when Joel is watching?

    As for porn: My tastes are so extreme that I can’t even discuss them here.

  3. I can watch Jon play, and have to keep myself from wanting to jump up and join in! Or offering suggestions (Topping from the side).

    He can watch me play as a bottom unless I’m doing a scene with a D/s dynamic. Then it is harder for him; he says it seems more intimate and while he wants me to get out of such a scene what I do enjoy, he does not wish to watch.

    He can always watch me Top, and I have no problem with that. It does not affect me.

    But there are times for private play for both of us now. We trust each other, and neither of us would wish to be an influence that affects headspace or the kind of play that goes on. We are much more easy in our play now. But it took time to get to this place.

    Porn? You mean those aren’t documentaries? My parents referred to women with such additions as “plastic fantastics” when they were so round and solid and obvious (as opposed to those who get reconstructions and try to look more natural and in proportion to themselves). I think the stilettos must be to prevent non-consensual interactions…

  4. radagast Says:

    In regards to intimacy: Even if I’m doing a discipline scene, the person I’m playing with and I have to agree if we want an audience there or not. There are times when discipline, even when role played, is something between two people.

    “Topping from the side”…yes. That’s a whole other article in the making. I’ve had people do it to me and my response is usually, “That’s great” which of course means “Mind your own fucking business”.

  5. Indiana Says:

    I can’t really comment about having one’s partner in the room during play, but I’m also a sucker for F/F spanking scenes. I have a hard time identifying with the guy in a scene, top or bottom, but I’ve recently realized that I sometimes do identify with female tops. So F/F spanking scenes let me in from both sides, which is an interesting experience. I also think that, although I prefer to go to parties strictly as a bottom right now, I’m naturally more of a switch, so I like watching women top in either F/M or F/F scenes.

    I’ve rarely watched vanilla porn, but I like F/F spanking porn/visual erotica, too. As long as it seems that the women involved are really enjoying playing with each other rather than just posing for guys who like hot F/F action. Nothing wrong with that, but having both women naked and in stiletto heels, turing their boobs and bits toward the camera at every opportunity, doesn’t do much for me. A pretty, bare female bottom on the other hand, is hard to ignore.

  6. Honestly, I don’t know. If a scene is going well, I am not so aware of Joel, unless of course he offers a heavier implement to the spanker. Sigh. Topping from the side indeed.

  7. My Top/Dom/SO in the scene is not my husband, but he considers himself my “scene boyfriend”. So…it is very hard for me to watch him play with others. I tend to be very proprietary (which is a BAD thing), so I tend to get jealous when he plays with others. He, on the other hand, has no problem watching me play with others, or my attending parties, or my telling him of my scenes with others. I don’t know if it’s because guys and girls are different, or because I am proprietary and he isn’t. He seems genuinely happy for me when I get to attend Shadow Lane or Tes or functions that he can’t.
    I don’t know – there are times I think that I should just wrap it up, and then there are times I think that I waited so long to get into the lifestyle, that I should enjoy the hell out of it while I can.

  8. radagast Says:

    Susan: My thought is that one should enjoy where they are now and not worry so much about things they can’t change especially the past.

  9. Damn!.. the comments were so hot I nearly forgot what the topic was. Oh yeah.. it’s about watching while either Topping or bottoming. My husband isn’t to the point where he wants to attend any type of event that has spanking in it. I think he may get there but I’m just not sure the midwestern farmer in him will allow that to happen. Now, for myself, I’m not quite at the point where I’m ready for an audience while I Top. I can’t get into the right headspace and I just feel too self conscious during the whole thing for either one of us to enjoy it. I hope I can get there someday and who knows.. maybe it will happen at Vegas this year.

    Now the whole F/F.. uh.. YEAH.. that is something I enjoy a great deal!

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