What Do You Call Yourself?

I don’t mean your scene name or anything like that. I’m asking you what words you use to describe yourself and what meaning and significance they hold for you.

In the past, I’ve called myself a “freak” to describe my desires and activities within the spanking community. This is something that’s upset a couple of friends of mine but I’m quick to remind them that I don’t use the word in a self-deprecating way. For me it’s a badge of honor and a way of saying that I not only acknowledge my uniqueness but embrace it in a way that recognizes the fact that it’s not the most serious thing in the world. I’m proud to be a freak, a Top, a Dom, a sadist, etcetera, and a whole host of other things. I’m taking that word and twisting its meaning to my own purposes.

Please note that in no way am I trying to cheapen the discourse by injecting some humor into it. I understand that words have layers of meaning, especially those that have a history of use by certain religions and other moralists to ostracize, shun and even kill those people they considered “corrupt”. I’m not trying to say that I’m better or worse in any intrinsic way than anyone else nor am I speaking for anyone other than me. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to be afraid of a word nor the people who would use it against me. I don’t fear piddly little nothings.

Proud to be a freak. Proud to be corrupted. Proud to corrupt as many others as possible.

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3 Responses to “What Do You Call Yourself?”

  1. Indiana Says:

    I see the point that words matter, and that there is a certain danger in those with our interests using words like “corrupt”, “freak”, or “pervert” to describe ourselves. It’s not so different from members of a religious or ethnic minority using slurs when referring to themselves. Either way, it can be a problem for those inside a group to use words that would be deemed offensive if used by those outside the group.

    On the other hand, I understand the attraction of embracing the slur. I’ve quite happily considered myself to be a geek for many, many more years than I’ve considered myself to be kinky. To me, “geek” isn’t a pejorative term at all. There are many advantages (after high school, at least) to being a geek. Even though I like the terms “pervy” and “pervertible”, though, I suppose that “pervert” lumps us together with child molesters and the like in the public eye and should therefore be used with great care.

    As far as being corrupted goes, I could use all the help I can get! 🙂

  2. radagast Says:

    I see your point regarding slurs. There is the danger that using the slur can make it seem all right for those outside the community to use it with a sense of impunity. Then again, they use it anyway (and worse).

    Honestly, I think more and more people are embracing their freaky side and are more likely to titter at what we do than be repulsed. The ones who hate what they don’t understand will always be that way.

  3. I call myself Susan…person who loves her family, her books, libraries, and spanking – sometimes in that order…sometimes not. Family always comes first, but there are times that spanking is the be all and end all…and there are times that it’s not.

    I hate labels – if there is anything that I’ve learned in this journey, it’s that labels don’t apply. I’ve met “sissies”, “transgenders”, “gays”, “bisexuals”, “transexuals”, “crossdressers”…the list goes on and on. What I’ve found is that we are all people trying the best we can to live our lives in the way that is most comfortable for us. Now that I’m a “spanko”, I try to find other spankos, so that I have a community to fall back on. Yet, there are times I tell my husband that “my people” do this or that, and he says “Oh, your kinky friends?” I don’t mind kinky – but it worries me (just a bit) that he considers us freaks. And I know how you mean it, but others don’t view it the same way…and that bothers me.

    In my next life I’m coming back as a polyamorous person – I don’t care what gender – but I’m getting into our lifestyle early, and I’m going to enjoy the hell out of it!

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