July 4th Special Edition

This blog does not take holidays off.

TESfest is this weekend. Sandy and I were planning on attending to enjoy the fun, play opportunities and attend workshops on everything from single-tailing to bondage to fisting (only as an observer). Unfortunately, due to a business commitment, Sandy can’t make it and I’m staying home to take care of the insane and incontinent cats. Why don’t I go by myself at least for a day?

Truth is, I still feel uncomfortable attending scene functions by myself. Without my partner in crime, I sort of feel out of place and a tiny bit lost. I have no doubt that I would see people I know and have folks to hang out with but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have that “adrift” sensation when I’m by myself.

Less importantly but also in my head is the notion that I’m not really supposed to do things on my own because it’s somehow akin to cheating. My logical side tells me otherwise but that doesn’t change the fact that those thoughts creep into my head.

The reality is that, for the most part, Sandy and I give each other all the space we need to explore things so it’s not as if anyone is keeping me from doing what I want – except me.

That said, I will be spending the weekend with these nutty cats – one of them meowing incessantly, the other sleeping directly on top of my feet. When did I become a cat person?


9 Responses to “July 4th Special Edition”

  1. I think I’d feel the same way at a spanking event without Joel. And I know he would encourage me to go without him if I really had my heart set on it. It just wouldn’t be the same.

    It’s not the playing as much as it is the small stuff like our commentaries to each other through out the night. It is the fun part of being a couple.

    As for the cats, well, I think they chose you.

    Enjoy your day. Go have some good coffee!

  2. radagast Says:

    The banter and silliness between Sandy and me is a big part of why I love having her with me, not just at scene events but pretty much everywhere.

    As for coffee: I think I’ll go make some fresh stuff right now.

  3. Neither Jon nor I have any interest in attending things separately. Even when we go and play with other people, we have each other and there is great comfort and satisfaction in that fact. We are never alone.

    I have been invited to “women only” events, and Jon was fine with me going. It was my choice not to attend. I’m not saying I won’t go at some point, but I just don’t feel the desire to do so.

    I hope it was good coffee Rad. There will be other times.

  4. radagast Says:

    “Good” coffee is a relative term. Sandy and I like the burnt stuff – Starbucks and especially Italian Espresso brewed like regular coffee. A strong taste that we like.

    I’m sure there will be other times to enjoy things and maybe I’ll even feel comfortable enough to go by myself.

  5. Indiana Says:

    Oh, attending these things alone isn’t so bad. There are all these nice couples to talk to. 🙂

  6. radagast Says:

    Indy: I probably would know a few people that attended but it doesn’t change the fact that I would feel a bit out of place. Perhaps it would be different if I was single.

  7. I wonder if it would be the same if you were single. I enjoy being with people or with someone that I know when I go to those types of events. Part of it is for company, some for the banter…and some for safety and to answer some questions that I may have!

  8. Rad, I wish you had attended on Saturday or Sunday – I would have enjoyed your company. I went to Tesfest alone, and I had a good time – met some very interesting and enjoyable new people, and had some fun scenes on Saturday and Sunday. Had a friend been there to attend classes with, eat with, and just hang out with would have been even more fun!

  9. radagast Says:

    Susan: It probably would have been a fun time but I was surprisingly productive in the apartment this weekend. Cleaned out some junk, put together a new desk for myself, set up a wireless network (which I’m still trying to get to work with Sandy’s computer). TESfest would have been more fun but I think I actually accomplished something for once.

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