Where’s That Confounded Cane?

Back in the days before I was an active participant, I had no interest in caning. It was too British, too impersonal, not the OTK stuff that I fantasized about. Times have changed.

When I first came out into the scene, I was keen on actually living out my fantasies which, to be honest, were simple. I’d never spanked anyone “for real” and just wanted to enjoy the kind of experience that had been in my mind and that I’d enjoyed when watching numerous videos. All during those pre-scene days and in the early days of scene life, I had no desire to cane anyone. On one hand it really didn’t turn me on and on the other it seemed too difficult to master – maybe I was scared I would seriously hurt someone or just come across as a neophyte. As time went on, I found out that my wife, Sandy, liked the cane every so often (as do lots of others) and I realized quickly that I better figure it out.

I’ll admit that at first, I had no idea what I was doing. I was afraid to hit hard, had a difficult time aiming properly and was frustrated with the whole prospect. However, Sandy was patient and a good communicator about what worked and what didn’t. I listened and learned. I adopted what worked for me and what didn’t. I learned that I didn’t have to make a show of it unless I wanted to, learned that I could choke up a little on the cane if it was too long for me, learned the proper distance I need to stand and I especially learned how to hold my arm to make sure I hit what I was aiming at. Most of all, I learned to enjoy it because I enjoy watching the reactions of the person I’m caning – Sandy has great reactions.

One other thing: As a person who enjoys his own brand of headspace (“Radspace”?), there is a certain toppy rush I get from the caning act. The formality and ritual of the act feeds into the moment and gives me a spike in adrenalin that provides the tunnelvision I enjoy when I’m focusing on a play partner.

It also turns me on.

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13 Responses to “Where’s That Confounded Cane?”

  1. I had a similar experience from a bottom’s point of view. Long years of reading spanking stories and fantasizing about it. Caning seemed way severe and over the top. Always the big threat for the offending bottom.

    Then I lost my spanking virginity. After a few sessions I went from “no cane, never ever” to “hmmm, wonder what that would be like.”

    I remember that first cane stroke ever so clearly. Just a brief delay after the stroke, I felt this line of fire travel across my bottom. Oh my. I was hooked. And yes, the reaction. It’s kind of fun to see a top react to my reaction. One spanking pal of mine loved how the right stroke would raise me up on my tip toes.

    Unfortunately, we’ve had crappy luck with rattan canes and have no usable ones right now. We do have this nasty delrin one that we are trying to adopt out to a good home. Has some bad mojo attached to it and lives in the basement now. Our vacation was swell in that I got to play with a couple of toppy friends who sure know how to cane.

    Caning was a surprise in all this scene stuff. It translated to reality so much better than I could have imagined.

  2. radagast Says:

    I admit that in recent times I’ve really enjoyed watching those really severe caning videos from Eastern Europe. It’s not that I’d want to do something so severe to someone but it is fascinating what these girls can take and how bruised they get.

    As for me, I never imagined it would be fun to cane someone but have discovered that I was very wrong about that.

  3. Looks like my question was not conveyed. Nothing to do with canes, but do you think it would be fair to say, based on your tagline, that a stable polyamorous triad could be legitimately described as “Three of a Perfect Pair” — inquiring minds need to know, even if we are not among the exalted Maiar.

    –Fox

  4. radagast Says:

    Fox: Although I’m feeling somewhat “Beat” this morning, the answer to your question is simply, “Talk? It’s only talk…”.

  5. Ballyhoo! Brouhaha! Much easier than trying to work something like “Lark’s Tongues In Aspic” into a sentence; but seriously, resorting to lyrical puns in a thread with a title like this just makes me crunge!

  6. radagast Says:

    Like Jello, there’s always room for puns, lyrical and otherwise. As long as they are cringe worthy.

  7. What LauraT said, paragraphs 1-3…

    I got my intro at our first SL, during the BB, when two women intro’d me (set me up?) to Ian who, after giving me my first experience with the cane, declared I’d probably end up “liking” it.

    I taught myself to cane by reading the small book I found at Borders, watching it in videos, then practicing on my poor pillow.

    It works for me, both ways.

  8. radagast Says:

    And how lucky was I that I had a real live human to practice on. I’m sure I missed a few times (and probably still do) but you can’t make an omelet without beating a few eggs.

  9. Yeah, and thankfully, with makeup you can hardly see the scars.

  10. I agree with Laura and Dolly…at first I was tooooo impersonal…not domestic enough…and then I experienced it and I loved it…I like the feel of all the different types of canes…and from hard to not as hard…to the tapping…and how the feeling goes throughout my body!…and let’s not forget the marks it leaves!

  11. radagast Says:

    It’s a handy little gizmo – the cane. So versatile and so much fun.

  12. spanky dave Says:

    I am 57 and have only in the last year given in to my urges to be caned and caned hard. I have tried being caned by my friend’s wife but she lacks the will to really lay it on and says she loves me too much to hurt me. Sweet thing.
    However, i have moved onto a terrific lady in Liverpool who has her own Website and yes i pay her for sessions.
    My reward is that she has all the right equipment, knows how to use it and is not scared to show what can really be done with the right preparation and build up.
    I have “graduated” to a very real 50 stroke Judicial caning and i believe i am not near to my personal limits yet.
    For me it is the mental thing. Yes, it hurts like hell and i actually don’t like to be caned mildly. But the anticipation and dread side of it are addictive for me.
    I feel cleansed after a prolonged hard session and really at peace with everything.
    I will continue to explore further limits and see just what finally makes me beg for it to stop. That point has not been reached yet.
    How little we really know or understand about ourselves

  13. radagast Says:

    spanky dave: I’m glad you were able to discover what it is you enjoy and the ability to explore it. Onward and upward towards your limits. Godspeed, dave!

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