A Fine Whine

Is there anything worse than a whiny Top? How about a whiny bottom? How about just a plain old whiner?

OK, I admit that I hate whining of any kind. Mostly because it reminds me of what I was like at some point in my life. I want this. I want that. Why don’t I have this or that? How come…blah-blah-blah? If time travel was possible, I would go back and slap myself.

I frequent chat rooms, message boards and newsgroups devoted to spanking and will invariably run into people who are doing nothing but complaining over their own plight in the scene. Woe is them because other folks are cliquish. They’re upset because they went to a party and nothing happened. No one will answer their ad. You get the idea. I’m not saying people don’t have legitimate complaints sometimes or at the very least concerns about things that they have experienced. I understand that things can be tough especially for someone new or unfamiliar with scene etiquette or standards. Often, I and other people who are “veterans”, will do our best to befriend and advise these folks. Lots of us have amassed enough firsthand knowledge and are more than willing to give those folks who are having a tough time of it a leg up.

The whiners I’m talking about are the ones who will just not listen to anyone no matter how good the advice. They will argue from the point of view that their perception of a nefarious conspiracy against them is correct and, dammit, they want you to agree. In my opinion, a person like this wears their misery like a comfortable old shirt rather than being able to face the scary reality that they may be the cause of their own unhappiness. No matter what people tell them, they still go to parties and don’t introduce themselves to anyone, wondering why no one spontaneously asks them to play. They go onto message boards or into chat rooms with a bizarre head of steam, behaving as if they can say whatever they want with zero consequence. They trip over their own feet constantly and wonder why they fall flat on their face.

I’m not saying some folks aren’t shy or somewhat socially inept but I think that most of them would like to get themselves out of that rut. The spanking community is filled with people who will help them and we often do. Unfortunately, there are also some who’d rather whine than change.

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7 Responses to “A Fine Whine”

  1. radagast Says:

    Thank you. I have a lot of fun writing it.

  2. I know someone like that and it drives me crazy. At first I had sympathy, and then felt bad for them because it didn’t go away…and now I think they’re psychotic.

    I definitely can be guilty of whiney, but I try and be aware of it, and am gernally ultra aware of myself in the scene because of a fear that people dislike me.

  3. radagast Says:

    All hyperbole aside, I think that there are people who are troubled and who can’t extricate themselves from behavior that’s nothing short of self-destructive.

    I think everyone whines on occasion, it’s just that most well-adjusted people realize they’re doing it and eventually decide to be proactive about changing those things that are causing them problems in the first place. And yes, chronic whining will make people not want to deal with you at all.

  4. Another great post.

  5. radagast Says:

    Thank you, my dear.

  6. I love the way you write, Rad.

  7. radagast Says:

    I just say it the way it comes out. Thanks for the compliment.

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