Those Insecure Feelings

I’m amazed by how many people in the spanking community exhibit insecurity about their place in the scene. For the most part, these feelings are lying to you.

We all experience it from time to time, those pangs that make us feel like crap because we perceive that person over there or that one on that side of the room as better looking/more vivacious/more popular than we are. It’s understandable that everyone likes to feel wanted and to feel, for lack of a better word, pretty and desirable. We are also extremely competitive creatures, constantly trying to carve our own territory and unwilling to give even an inch of it up for fear of being seen as weak or yesterday’s news. Men and women both feel this way – there is no discrimination by gender.

These feelings arise even more often when you’re a person that frequents any sized gathering of scene people where at any moment the new person can walk in and immediately garner the attention that you might perceive is “owed” to you. You might end up resenting someone even before you get to know them because you immediately feel that they are on “your turf” or are better at something than you are.

I’ll put it in a nutshell: Just because a person is new or desirable, let’s say, at a party, doesn’t mean that you are any less so. If I play with someone and enjoy it, playing with a new person does not make me want to play with the first one any less. There’s a reason I wanted to play with them and having one more person to play with does not change that fact one bit. I may have to learn to apportion my time a little better and quickly come to the realization that I can’t play with everyone in the alloted time but the desire to play with partners who are familiar is not diminished.

Insecurity is a self-fulfilling prophesy for people who choose to be unhappy. Don’t be one of those people.

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2 Responses to “Those Insecure Feelings”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Unfortunately Rad, insecurity will always rear it’s ugly head. Why? I don’t know. I do know that there is always going to be someone who is thinner, prettier, more fun, able to take more, easier to talk with, ____________(insert insecurity here).

    Is it human nature? Or something we human’s do to one another in middle and high school?

  2. radagast Says:

    I believe that it will probably always be there under the surface but I don’t have to be a slave to it. The older I get, the better I understand that.

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