A Pleasant Diversion

So the wife and I go to a dominant female/submissive male munch and event last night and a fun time was had. The dynamic is not my thing because I really don’t think there’s much submissive about me. However, my wife switches on a regular basis and really enjoys the Ms. Cassandra Park persona so we went.

I go to these events with her not just to be supportive of her but because I enjoy being with her no matter what we’re doing. But it’s more than just the support, I’m getting something out of it too. The BDSM scene has fragmented in recent years with spankos going this way and other sorts of lifestylers going that way. The Internet has been a great resource and communication medium but it’s also created a system where people can explore the minutia of their kinkiness with others of the same stripe with relative ease. It’s a phenomenon I’ve seen in the music world as well. Back in the bad old 80s and 90s, the popularity of micropublished “zines” took off. It wasn’t too hard to find a zine that catered to your personal taste in music to the exclusion of all else. If you liked hardcore (from hatecore to straight edge), thrash metal, avant garde rock or a hundred other sub-genres, you could always find a zine that talked about it and provided a link to artists and other folks in the community. The Internet made it easier by putting it all at our fingertips. Right now, spankos can go online and find a treasure of information and links to others who enjoy what they do. The bad part is that this ability to focus on the specialized corners have made the communication lines within the overarching BDSM world less secure. If people can do what they like to the exclusion of everything else, why not just ignore all the rest.

This is one of the reasons I love going to events like the one last night. It gives me the opportunity to meet people in the scene that I would not get to meet if I just stuck to “my thing”. That would be a shame because I would not have met some of the wonderful people I met last night including one domme who was kind enough to let me try out one of her canes and even to show me a technique for caning that I was not aware of. The munch before the event was pleasant and filled with adults having good conversations about whatever we felt like talking about. My wife went to scratch a particular itch but afterwards we took our place on the stage where I got the delicious opportunity to cane, strap and tawse her to her, my and hopefully the delight of those who were watching. Lots of fun playing, watching and conversing with folks and all because I did something that would normally be out of my comfort zone.

I’m a firm believer that kinkiness is just kinkiness with the edges sort of blurry. I’m a spanko but that doesn’t mean that other things don’t intrigue me or pique my curiosity. As a male top, I’m always fascinated to watch female tops or dommes do their thing — you never know when you might get a few pointers out of it. Rope bondage is a good example. I don’t really do it nor know a lot of techniques beyond a double knot but it’s always interesting to watch some of the elaborate rope tricks that people do. The intensity in the faces of the participants as well as the meticulous care they take with their craft is wonderful to watch. Although everyone has their own comfort level when it comes to being around other kinksters, I think there’s a lot to be said about stepping outside of it every so often as a mind-expanding exploration. That’s what I did last night and benefited from it if only by having a good time.